AZED CROSSWORD 143

Jingle for BALTHAZAR, MELCHIOR, CASPAR

1.  C. Allen Baker:
With gifts weighed down, frost-flecked, adorned,
And star above, ye wise men three-O,
‘Tis little wonder, sirs, that ye
Might well be termed a Christmas tree-O.

2.  A. J. Holdstock:
Merry Christmas, trio sage,
Azed, too, and welcome ‘page’.
Golden thoughts from a cross-worder,
Incensed be not though rhymes are myrrhder!

3.  R. Dean:
Uranium ore and cobalt hazardous
From Africa’s parched acres deeply mined;
Accept them, elchi, orient ambassadors –
And may your names forever be enshrined.

VHC

M. J. Balfour:
By ruling (to Worthington) ‘—— is allowed,’
Ref made ——d and drew —— from crowd.
The game may be strange, but each blank you will find
Sounds wholly familiar to three of your kind.

M. Barnes:
‘Mary, Joseph and Jesus’ Caspar swore
As he banged his head on the stable door.
‘Good thinking, your majesty’, Mary said,
‘I’d almost decided to call him Fred.’

T. E. Bell:
Be good as gold, be frank – incense
No man, behave with reason,
So may you earn your recompense,
A ‘Myrrhy Christmas Season’!

C. O. Butcher:
May your Christmas be merry and bright!
Though room at the inn is so tight,
The landlord will laugh, we surmise,
When told that there’s more come and wise.

A. L. Dennis:
When you travel never go far
Planes are hi-jacked, crashes by car,
Corpses counting, murders mounting,
Bombs in the local bar.

M. A. Elder:
The busy traffic must have been a sight
In crowded Bethlehem that starry night,
And while you knelt within the stable cold
With gifts of myrrh and frankincense and gold
You all got booked; you’ll have to pay a fine –
You’d parked three camels on the yellow line.

H. J. Godwin:
Q. Why is a star ’eavenly?
A. Because it leads to no’ell (Noël).

D. V. Harry:
Oh, Kings of Eastern countries whence
Came Gold, and Myrrh, and Frankincense,
Grant us means to Honest Toil.
Buddies, can you spare some Oil?

S. Holgate: Orient 3, Spurs 1 (won).

C. H. Hudson:
You were three chiefs of Middle-East,
You the three Kings of Orient were –
The modern Sheik’s not in the least
Concerned with frankincense and myrrh.
You journeyed through the winter’s cold
To mark with gifts the angels’ news –
Your counterpart, agog for gold,
Just grabs his oily revenues.

W. Jackson:
Caspar rex et Melchior
Balthazarque lumine
lucent Alphabetici
claro iam aenigmatos.
Vos, observatores Stellae,
Stellae nunc Observatoris,
die Salvatoris nostri
Salutamus hodie.

Lieut-Col D. Macfie:
Melchior oxen in the manger
(Caspardors for some?)
Balthazar better far than braces,
When it comes to parking gum.
– And a Vyrrhy Myrrhy Christmas to all!

Mrs S. M. Macpherson:
Our warmest Christmas wishes to your Majesties, all three,
Though you won’t arrive to read this card before Epiphany:
It’s not far now to Bethlehem; it really is a pity
You have to come by camel-train, and not by ‘Inter-City’

D. F. Manley:
Brave explorers, that high light
Expressing Heaven’s eternal might
Primarily reveals the spot
Where Jesus lies – the town is what?

S. L. Paton:
Twinkle, twinkle, Superstar
Guiding wise men from afar;
Bet you never guessed He’d be
Man’s excuse for gluttony.

B. A. Pike:
It’s pointless to wish you
A merry Christmas day:
While we’re all rejoicing
You’re still on your way.
It’s ironic that your majesties,
Bringing your gifts in state,
Will unfailingly, for evermore,
Be twelve days late!

C. J. B. Powell:
Compare the nova which to you appears,
To a Persian king who’s fond of German beers;
The first is like a star that on high shines,
The second is a shah that likes his steins.

A. J. Redstone:
On that first Christmas, you’d only one star,
Princes with gifts for the Babe’s Adoration.
Everyone worships a new god, the car:
Come, bearing oil; ease five-star inflation.

W. K. M. Slimmings:
Blest magi three – two white, one sable,
Gift-bearers to a holy stable;
Gifts that for infant King are meet,
Gold, olibanum, cicely sweet.

C. E. Williams:
Bringing costly Eastern presents
All on camels neatly packed
Was much slower than a Jumbo
But at least you weren’t hi-jacked.

D. C. Williamson:
Greetings from a fellow sage! I
Bear three gifts as well, O Magi!
You can win them (or be praised)
In my Christmas Puzzle, Azed.

S. E. Woods:
You didn’t call solo at the manger,
He went misère, a little stranger (anag. of Three Wise Men).

HC

Mrs A. Baker, Mrs P. A. Bax, Brig R. V. M. Benn, P. Berman, Mrs K. Bissett, J. Bowker, D. L. Bowron, E. J. Burge, D. A. H. Byatt, Mrs M. J. Cansfield, R. L. Chambers, E. S. Clark, P. R. Clemow, M. A. Cooper, A. E. Crow, J. H. Doran, P. Drummond, Miss L. Eveleigh, Rev S. W. Floyd, P. D. Gaffey, S. Goldie, J. Goldman, J. J. Goulstone, Mrs R. Harvey, Mrs S. Hewitt, N. L. Hindley, P. Holtby, G. Johnstone, A. H. Jones, F. H. Jones, Mrs J. Lane, A. Lawrie, J. H. C. Leach, C. J. Lowe, Mrs J. Mahood, B. Manvell, E. McNeal, M. R. Metcalf, D. P. M. Michael, F. E. Newlove, Mrs M. Pender-Cudlip, R. G. Pentney, M. L. Perkins, Miss I. M. Raab, D. R. Robinson, T. E. Sanders, D. A. Smith, D. J. Thorpe, L. J. Wayman, Mrs M. P. Webber, J. F. N. Wedge, Rev C. D. Westbrook, Mrs M. R. Wishart, and an unnamed entry from Rochester – Col P. S. Baines?.
 

Comments
A jolly tough puzzle, clearly, which accounted for quite a number of flawed solutions among the 270 or so received. Most of these were caused by solvers putting BALTHASAR for BALTHAZAR. The former is certainly a variant spelling of the Wise Man of that name but is not how Durrell calls his character in the Alexandrian Quartet. ZOLOE was certainly obscure – indeed there is even some question whether the Marquis de Sade actually wrote Zoloe et ses acolytes, but I hoped that with the added help of the unchecked letters those without access to reference libraries would be able to work her out. Most did, I may say.
 
I greatly enjoyed reading all the entries, which were full of wit and invention. I often wonder who the nameless authors of the myriad florid and trite jingles adorning seasonal greetings cards are and what they’re paid for the fruits of their labour. They could certainly learn a thing or two from Azed solvers.
 
Much the commonest theme used was a contemporary updating of the Magi’s gift-bearing status. Oil, bread, sugar, salt all seem to be more in demand these days than the originals which though richly symbolic weren’t of much practical value. Mr. Jackson’s splendid medieval Latin carol may be translated thus
 
“King Caspar and Melchior and Balthazar now shine out in the clear ‘light’ of an Azed puzzle. Today, the day of our Saviour, we greet you, observers of the Star, now stars of the Observer.”
 
I must apologise to Mr. E. M. Hornby for a misprint in his clue in last month’s slip (PIEPOWDER). For ‘travel’ read ‘trial’. And now a sincere if uninspired seasonal message in response to all your kind greetings:

• Solvers of the Azed series,
• May your Xmas merry be;
• Ave, as the old year wearies,
• MCMLXXV!